Tuesday, September 30, 2008

So What Happens When A Man Loves A Woman?

I used to think that when a guy likes a girl, that he should own it, be responsible about it, and go up to a girl and tell her literally that he likes her. And THAT would make him a real man. Most girls think that should be the case too.

But then, and as I correlate with today’s fast-moving culture, and the lady’s expectation from movies, novels, or just mere friend’s stories AND from many other sources (shall not comment of women’s source of info..hehe), I come to a stage where I asked myself and to all the ladies and men who are reading..

Does it ever occur to women that maybe a guy might like to have a plan because he’s nervous? He’s not sure that he could just walk up to you and you’d respond if he said ,

“ I like you.” (think bout it for a sec)


I recently came across an interesting fact from a book. (Yes, I do read! *ding* another good point of Mr. Bernard Hiew! Wohoo )

Studies have shown that 60% of human communications are non verbal. That means body language; 30% is your tone. So that means, 90% of what we’re actually saying…is not coming out from our mouth wan!
And yet she’s wondering why he never SAY he like me wannnn~?

So, does it mean he likes you less, or does it mean he means it any lesser if he doesn’t say it (those three words) to you verbally?

Matter a fact, most guys has tried being verbal about it, and then they crash and burn with it. Moreover, most of my girl friends tell me from their personal experience that, they really do not prefer guys that they don’t like to be so direct. They prefer them to be ‘brief’ so that it can be less awkward etc.
But that leaves an interesting question.. How then can it be inconsistent, and isn’t that a lil unfair that she expects it to be otherwise from someone she likes?

If your still reading, I’m assuming that you’re going with my flow, or your just kehpoing HAHA, nah I take that back! Hehe.
But I guess the next possible question is; Then how does it happen? How do you know whether he’s for real, if he doesn’t say it? How do we all know what he even says is going to be true?

Then allow me to ask you this, Is it merely weighted by what he says, or not say? What about his actions? Does his action really speak louder than words? Is he honest? How about his character? Or do you just prefer the word part? Coz we all know players are good with words as well no?

Well, we can’t say for sure. Nothing is certain. But I guess what I can say is that you’ll know. Coz one moment, your super happy with him/her, when he/ she sms you, what he/she says matters than what other says, or even when he/she makes you irritated, you find that the smallest thing he/she does can make you forgive. Then next, you’re wondering how is he/she doing … =)

So ladies?

Note:
Do note that I still am in favor, and my hats off to all the guys, who chooses to be verbal about it. I personally think it’s still cool no matter which century we are in. I’m in no way of encouraging guys to not be verbal about it. But, it’s just an observation that I’ve come across, and I thought that it might be a help to all the fellas and all the ladies to understand each other better =) And yes, would like to hear what you all have to say bout it. And we see where we go from there?



6 comments:

Unknown said...

Through the little experience that i have. I will only be verbal once i get a "go" sign from the girl.
When i say verbal i dont mean."Hey good looking, i hope you are as beautiful inside as you are outside" more so i catch her looking at me more than me looking at her.WHICH may i add might be alot. haha. I would probably go up to her and really make something up. Like " Hey, My name is John. You look so darn familiar, ......wait i am giving away my skills. hahah okay enough..

Long story short, what do you have to lose, she probably has a boyfriend if she is super Hot.No harm in Just making a friend. If she is interested, I would leave it to the next time i see her, probably ask for an email or something If i do. If not.. meh.

No rush. Plus i believe that Love is a choice. And really cannot depend of feelings. Because feelings comes and goes. But love has to be there when the times are good, and when times are the most !@#AE!@#$ Just wanna pull your hair out, Punch watermelon. You know what i mean.
ANyways...

Unknown said...

hmm, nice entry ...
I never knew a point of view from a guy exactly but it does give me some new stuff ...

Anyway, I'd been pondering r u the guy on the tv with motorcycle travelling around. And so, it's u huh ?

I bet u made a blast with Wilber Pan ? I sorta saw it on AEC the other day, but not detail-ly ..

Best wish ! Good luck, hope to hear again.

Must say that this entry is quite meaningful - to get a step closer to a guy, perhaps !

Anonymous said...

gonna be real brief and direct. If the gurl likes you, verbal keh non verbal pun boleh..... if she doesnt apa pun salah!!! hahahahha

Ahem, sori.... but it's true it's true. kekeke

Pinky

Tilda said...

Well, personally I might prefer guys to be brief yet verbal. Sometimes, in a woman's point of view, you can see that he is trying to be nice with you (like the action part you were mentioning) but then it doesn't mean he likes you or so. It's just merely being nice or too nice which will then lead to us thinking "hmm... is it for real?" and also it's gonna be standing on the blurry lines between friendship or relationship.

For me, I would prefer to take a chance in everything because I always think if I don't do it now, maybe I'll regret later and keep thinking what should have been then because I'll never know. Better to know than never wat. Even so, you might get to learn through experience and grow or get to know him/her better. heheh... just a thought about it sometimes.

Ah well, it's worth a think about since men are from mars and women are from venus. haha... been reading that a lot recently...

Anonymous said...

It is true that 90% of our conversation is non verbal like u said. But at the end of the day, what matters most? the 90% or the 10%?

Well i believe that the non verbal part can reveal that we actually like someone. But by not saying it out verbally, the other party cannot be certain if he/she is for real. Cos like Dada said, he could just 'being really nice to you'. In fact, players are not only good with words but with their body language as well. Therefore, it is the 10% verbal part that IS the most CRUCIAL to let your girl or guy know how you actually feel for sure.

deJelly said...

who's the girl??
woot woot